Friday, October 21, 2011

Apple's Siri will need to learn some new tricks

(CNN) -- Summon Siri, the digital assistant contained within the iPhone 4S, and ask: "Why is it so hard to find good help these days?"

"I don't know what you mean," answers the robotic female voice.

Despite all of the quirky, saucy and entertaining responses to oddball remarks -- like "I'm drunk" (Siri returns a list of taxi services) or "What do you look like?" ("Shiny") -- Siri is unable to deliver on many basic commands.

For example, the voice-command service refuses to launch applications. ("I can't do that for you, Mark. I'm sorry to let you down.") The iPhone 4S has an improved camera and a button on the lock screen to quickly access it, but Siri is not a photographer. ("I can't take your pictures for you.") Twitter is embedded in the new version of Apple's mobile software, but ask Siri to tweet, and it says, "Sorry Mark, I can't help you with Twitter."

A glaring omission, which would happen to be a major technical undertaking for Apple, is the inability for third-party developers to tie their apps into Siri. At launch, Apple included data from Yelp for restaurant and retail recommendations, and the Wolfram Alpha search engine for a wide swath of data queries such as city populations and currency conversions.

However, the other 500,000 or so programs on the App Store can't interact with Siri. Brady Forrest, who organizes technology conferences in the San Francisco Bay Area, said he'd like to be able to call up Siri to identify songs with Shazam, get food delivered or order a product on Amazon.com.

But this would be possible only if Siri's functions were unlocked in the same way a developer can access the phone's camera or gyroscope.

"My concern is that Siri will be more constrained by 'biz dev' than by technology," Forrest said, basing his worries on Apple favoring Yelp over Google for local business reviews.

What's more frustrating is that the original Siri app, which Apple shut down after the iPhone 4S was released, was able to accomplish tasks through other services. It could order movie or concert tickets, book restaurant reservations using OpenTable, and call a cab via Taxi Magic. It could also tweet.

Perhaps an open framework is coming. Apple typically does not discuss future releases, and the Siri reborn for the iPhone 4S is less than a week old. On its website, Apple lists 18 apps that Siri works with, two of which, Maps and Yelp, are U.S.-only. The company says it is still working to add new features to the service. "Siri is currently in beta, and we'll continue to improve it over time," Apple's website says.

For the things Siri can do, it (she?) does them well. It can pull up directions, transcribe written notes, create calendar appointments, and remind me to take out the trash at 9 p.m. or whenever I arrive home

Siri's voice recognition technology is adept at interpreting my mumbles and whispers. (It's still awkward to talk to a gadget in public.) And whether I say "text" or "message" or "send an SMS," Siri knows what I mean.

But as I turn to Siri more frequently, I have run into some walls.

I can dictate text messages and e-mails, which can then be read back to me, but Siri won't read me my e-mail messages aloud, which would be useful for when I'm driving. And Siri can't record audio to Apple's own app. "I haven't yet learned dictation, Mark. You'll have to use the Voice Memos app for that," Siri says.

While Siri can't access songs contained within MOG, Pandora or Spotify, it can play an album from Apple's own music app, much like the old Voice Control feature. Yet it can't start a movie stored in Apple's videos app.

Using Voice Control instead of Siri remains an option, which is convenient because Siri requires an Internet connection. But when the phone doesn't have Web access, say in the subway, the system does not automatically switch from Siri to Voice Control.

Customers around the world have complained that Siri can only operate in English, French and German. Apple says more languages, including Chinese, Italian, Japanese, Korean and Spanish, will be integrated next year.

Maybe demanding an assistant be quadrilingual is asking too much. Comedian Stephen Colbert poked fun at the high expectations for Siri on his show, jokingly asking his phone to write lines for him.

But as users get accustomed to shouting demands at their phones and having them fulfilled, Apple -- like its competitors in Microsoft's Bing or Google's voice search -- has more work to do to translate into voice commands all of the functions that are currently just a few taps away.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Former JetBlue flight attendant sentenced

(CNN) -- The former JetBlue flight attendant who soared to instant celebrity after deploying an emergency evacuation slide to dramatically exit an airplane in 2010 has been sentenced to a year of probation after completing a mental health treatment program.

In accordance with a plea deal reached in Queens Supreme Court in October 2010, Steven Slater withdrew his guilty plea on Wednesday to a felony charge of attempted second-degree criminal mischief and will serve a year of probation on a misdemeanor charge of attempted fourth-degree criminal mischief, according to a news release from the Queens County district attorney's office.

Slater, 39, must still pay $10,000 in restitution to JetBlue, the price of repairing or replacing the emergency evacuation chute. He made an initial payment of $500 and must continue to shell out $831.25 each month, the release said.

Slater faced up to four years in prison for the felony charge and up to six months in jail for the misdemeanor charge, the release said. Instead, he underwent a year of court-ordered treatment through the Queens Mental Health Court.

"It's great to see that there is an alternate to hard time for cases that, in my mind, don't necessarily merit hard time," Slater told CNN. "This was a good alternative."

Slater called the past year "long" and "challenging." He said he spent much of it commuting to the New York treatment facility from Los Angeles, where took care of his ill mother, who died this year.

The notorious former flight attendant described the August 9, 2010, incident to CNN's Larry King after his initial sentencing in October of last year.

He said that after the flight, which originated in Pittsburgh, landed at John F. Kennedy Airport, he was berated by a passenger whose luggage had been checked because it would not fit in the overhead bin. Slater said he then swiped a few beers from the beverage cart, deployed the evacuation slide and slid out of the plane.

He was immediately suspended by JetBlue and proceeded to resign from his post as flight attendant in September 2010.

These days, Slater is spending his time completing a memoir about his years in the airline industry and the day that led to his rise to fame.

"It was kind of a watershed moment," he said. "And now I know if I don't take care of myself, no one else will."

Senate expected to vote on portion of jobs bill

Washington (CNN) -- Democrats and Republicans tried to force versions of a jobs bill through the Senate late Thursday, but both fell short of the 60 votes they would have needed to bring their proposals to the floor.

In a 50-50 vote, senators blocked a component of President Barack Obama's jobs bill -- $35 billion for states and localities to hire more teachers and first responders while preventing current ones from being laid off.

The funding would have been paid for by a 0.5% tax increase on people earning more than $1 million a year. Republicans opposed the tax increase.

"Republicans have once again said no to creating jobs in America and no to helping the American people. They have turned their backs on our children and the safety of our communities by blocking a bill that would put 400,000 teachers, police officers and firefighters back to work," Sen. Barbara Boxer, D-California, said in a statement after the vote.

Similarly, senators blocked a Republican-backed proposal to repeal a 3% withholding requirement for all government contractors. Businesses have decried it as burdensome.

The measure was part of Obama's broad jobs package and has Democratic supporters. However, Democrats and Republicans disagreed over how to offset the costs of eliminating the withholding. The bill was blocked in the Senate by a 57-43 vote.

Either side would have needed at least 60 votes to move its bill forward.

"It's hard to understand why Democrats would block this bipartisan effort to protect jobs -- a provision of the President's bill," Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, R-Kentucky, said in a statement after the vote. "I've said a number of times in recent days that the President doesn't want Congress to pass his jobs bill; he wants to blame Republicans and use it on the campaign trail."

Republicans have blocked debate on the entire $447 billion jobs plan in the Senate. They argue that any tax increase would harm economic growth and job creation, while Obama and Democrats contend that the president's package ensures immediate job growth.

Democrats are promising to force votes on individual components of the Obama plan.

Other components of the jobs bill to be voted on include funding for infrastructure projects and extending cuts in payroll taxes.

Among other things, Obama's overall blueprint includes an extension and expansion of the current payroll tax cut, an extension of jobless benefits, new tax credits for businesses that hire the long-term unemployed, and additional money to help save and create jobs for teachers and first responders such as firefighters.

The joys of slowly savoring Paris

Paris (CNN) -- When you're in love in Paris, you show it with a lock.

A combination lock, a bicycle lock or, most commonly, a simple padlock -- hundreds of them -- all inscribed with the names of lovers and clinging to the chain link railing of the Pont des Arts, the Bridge of Arts, the keys romantically tossed into the Seine flowing below.

"Without you, my life doesn't make sense," one of the locks reads in French.

"Walter and Tammy engaged," another announces to the world in English.

You might easily miss the modest pedestrian bridge with the shiny accessories in the tourist rush to find historic Pont Neuf or the ornate Pont Alexandre III, but I am taking it slow on my second visit to Paris.

There are no museums on my itinerary and no mad scrambles to fit in all of the city's famous sites. I've already seen the Mona Lisa, been to the top of the Eiffel Tower, gazed down on Napoleon's tomb and admired Notre Dame.

This visit is for savoring Paris: walking to wherever fancy strikes, sitting in any park or caf that looks inviting and eating as many baguettes, pastries and other delectable things as my budget (and figure) will allow.

"Sleepless Night"

When I arrive, "Purple Rain" is the talk of the town. It's the first weekend of October, so the streets of Paris are extra crowded for the annual Nuit Blanche -- White Night or Sleepless Night -- when museums stay open until dawn and organizers promise "surprising and unusual" art installations all over the city.

One of them invites visitors to pick up a clear plastic umbrella and walk through a courtyard as rain machines and mauve lights make it look like they've stepped into Prince's hit song.

I start each of my few days in Paris with champagne. It's right there, chilling in an ice bucket in the corner of my hotel's breakfast buffet every morning, not far from a pitcher of milk.

Guests sip from their champagne flutes as casually as from their coffee cups as they fill up on cold cuts, cheeses and buttery croissants spread liberally with Nutella.

An unexpected heat wave bathes Paris in summer light, so I take in the stunning views of the city from Sacre Coeur Basilica and go explore hilly, bohemian Montmartre.

Who knew grapes grow in Paris? They bask in the sun on a slope on Rue des Saules in Clos Montmartre, the city's only vineyard. Not far away, you can feast on sea bass in butter sauce in Le Moulin de la Galette, a restaurant topped by a little 18th-century windmill -- one of only two that remain in the area.

A poster quest

I take alarmingly frequent boulangerie and patisserie breaks.

The bakery near my hotel, just off the Champs Elys es, has baskets of warm crunchy-soft baguettes and display cases full of elaborate sweets that you can't ignore.

My favorite: a raspberry pistachio gateau, with the tart ruby fruit nestled in sweet clouds of pale green cream in between layers of flaky puff pastry. Heaven.

Haunted by a poster of the Le Monde des Chim res restaurant that I've owned for years, I set out for le Saint-Louis -- one of two islands in the Seine -- where the photo was taken.

The restaurant now has a new name, Mon Vieil Ami, but I'm not disappointed. The peaceful little island, with its boutique-lined center street, is a charmer, and food temptations are all around: "lapin la moutarde" (rabbit with mustard sauce), "chocolat noir" ice cream, "rhubarbe" sorbet.

Close calls at Place de l' toile

For entertainment, I watch the crazy traffic around the Arc de Triomphe.

There are no lanes and no traffic cops. Cars entering the circle have the right of way, and they roar into the giant roundabout as the other cars already in it (and going alarmingly fast) squeal to a stop, sometimes with just inches to spare.

There are honks and angry hand gestures as vehicles of every imaginable size -- from tiny Smart cars to giant tour buses -- negotiate the circle with equal zeal.

Want to exit the roundabout into one of the 12 avenues fanning out of it? Just cut diagonally in front of all the other traffic. It's both terrifying and fascinating to watch.

When I ask the concierge at my hotel whether she drives around the arch, she smiles and shrugs her shoulders, "Sure, you just do it. You just keep going; otherwise the other cars will just" -- here she's at a loss for words and mimes what looks like vehicles swerving wildly around her.

Her colleague at the front desk then confesses that when her husband goes around the arch, "I just close my eyes."

They tell me that when there is an accident at the Place de l' toile, the insurance companies of both drivers always split the bill 50/50. It's just too difficult to ever determine who is at fault. "But there are no accidents," one of the women insists.

Cheese heaven

For a traffic-free experience, I head to Rue Cler, a pedestrian market street not far from the Eiffel Tower where Julia Child used to shop. You can sit down for a meal or assemble a moveable feast at the fruit, produce and specialty food shops that dot the area.

The fromagerie itself is worthy of the trip: There are hundreds of varieties of cheeses for sale, their collective aroma wafting out into the street. You could make it your mission to try one cheese each day of the year and still not go through them all.

For now, my time is running out.

I watch one more time as the Eiffel Tower sparkles like a champagne glass at night, with the hourly evening light show eliciting oohs, aahs and applause from the crowd on the Champ de Mars.

Then I give in and buy a souvenir: a "J'adore Paris" T-shirt. I will wear it often.

Obama pledges U.S. support for Libya after Gadhafi

Washington (CNN) -- President Barack Obama on Thursday called the death of former Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi both the end of a "long and painful chapter for the people of Libya" and the hallmark of a successful U.S. foreign policy.

In the first official government remarks on the killing of a longtime foe who was behind terrorist attacks against U.S. citizens, Obama pledged American support as Libya builds a democratic system from the ruins of dictatorship.

"You have won your revolution," he said to the Libyan people.

Obama also praised the efforts of U.S. military personnel who took part in the NATO-led military mission that launched thousands of airstrikes in support of Libya's rebel forces.

"Without putting a single U.S. service member on the ground, we achieved our objectives," Obama said in heralding a strategy that "demonstrated what collective action can achieve in the 21st century."

In an obvious reference to Syria and the crackdown on dissent by President Bashar al-Assad, Obama noted that Gadhafi's death proved "once more that the rule of an iron fist inevitably comes to an end."

"Across the Arab world, citizens have stood up to claim their rights," the president said. "Youth are delivering a powerful rebuke to dictatorship, and those leaders who try to deny human dignity will not succeed."

His statement, delivered in the White House Rose Garden, followed hours of silence by top government officials as initial reports that Gadhafi had been captured or killed emerged from Libya.

In Afghanistan, where she held talks Thursday, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said she had heard the reports but was unable to confirm them.

"Unconfirmed reports," Clinton said after getting first word, via a BlackBerry handed to her by an aide, of Gadhafi's possible fate. When she first looked at the BlackBerry, Clinton said "Wow" and then reminded aides around her that previous reports of Gadhafi's capture had proved false.

Later, a State Department official familiar with the latest information from Libya said that while no firm confirmation could be made, it "looks like" Gadhafi had been killed. The official spoke on condition of not being identified.

Politicians were less reticent, with Sens. John Kerry and John McCain, both foreign affairs veterans, and other legislators remarking on Gadhafi's death long before Obama issued his statement.

McCain, an Arizona Republican who lost to Obama in the 2008 presidential election, called it a "great day" and said the administration he previously criticized for withholding full U.S. military capacity in Libya "deserves great credit."

"Obviously, I had different ideas on the tactical side, but ... the world is a better place, and the Libyan people now have a chance," McCain told CNN.

Kerry, a Massachusetts Democrat, said Obama's policy of building a NATO-led coalition for the Libya mission "demonstrated clear-eyed leadership, patience and foresight by pushing the international community into action."

"Though the administration was criticized both for moving too quickly and for not moving quickly enough, it is undeniable that the NATO campaign prevented a massacre and contributed mightily to Gadhafi's undoing without deploying boots on the ground or suffering a single American fatality," Kerry said. "This is a victory for multilateralism and successful coalition-building in defiance of those who derided NATO and predicted a very different outcome."

Rep. Mike Rogers, the chairman of the House intelligence committee, cheered the news that Gadhafi's "brutal regime is finally over." At the same time, the Michigan Republican stressed what he deemed an urgent need to secure "Libya's large stockpile of chemical and other advanced weapons" in this period of transition.

Vice President Joe Biden noted that the U.S. role in the campaign cost no more than $2 billion and that no American lives were lost, saying: "This is more a prescription about how we ought to deal going forward.

"We do not have to do it ourselves. ... The NATO alliance worked like it was designed to do," Biden told CNN's Candy Crowley in New Hampshire, calling Gadhafi "one bad guy. This was real burden sharing."

According to figures from the Pentagon and State Department, the total bill as of September 30 for the U.S. role in the Libya campaign was about $1.3 billion.

However, Republican Sen. Marco Rubio of Florida complained that Obama's strategy unnecessarily extended the conflict by withholding full U.S. involvement and firepower.

"If the U.S. had gotten involved early, aggressively and decisively, today would have happened months ago," Rubio said. "Sometimes you don't just have to do the right thing. You have to do the right thing at the right time, and I think this administration failed to do that."

The news of Gadhafi's death marked the end of the seven-month NATO-led Libya campaign initially spearheaded by the United States to prevent Gadhafi's forces from attacking Benghazi, the rebel stronghold.

NATO Secretary General Anders Fogh Rasmussen announced Thursday, hours after Gadhafi was killed, that the alliance "will terminate our mission" in that North African nation.

Clinton visited the Libyan capital of Tripoli this week, making her the highest-level U.S. government official to go to the country since 2008.

In a CNN interview in Afghanistan as the reports of Gadhafi's death were emerging, Clinton said Libya's governing National Transition Council wanted to wait until the last Gadhafi stronghold of Sirte was completely free before declaring the country as liberated.

"They knew if (Gadhafi) was at large, they would have continued security problems," Clinton said.

Even with Gadhafi's death, Clinton said, challenges would remain for Libya, with mercenaries and fighters loyal to Gadhafi still on the scene. But she said his absence -- meaning that he couldn't marshal popular support, pay for mercenaries or lead a guerrilla warfare campaign -- would make "a big difference."

Asked what the death of Gadhafi would mean, Clinton said it would "add a lot of legitimacy and validation and relief to the formation of the new government."

The killing of Gadhafi also raised anew the question of whether a Libyan convicted of helping bomb Pan Am Flight 103 in 1988, killing 270 people, would be forced to resume serving a prison sentence in Scotland.

Abdelbeset al-Megrahi returned to a hero's welcome in Libya two years ago after his humanitarian release from a Scottish prison due to advanced cancer. He is still alive today, and some U.S. legislators have mounted a vigorous campaign for his return to prison.

House Speaker John Boehner, an Ohio Republican, said the United States can be a "willing friend and partner" to Libya's new government if it can "resolve all issues associated with Gadhafi's terrorism-sponsored activities."

And to the brother of a victim of the Pan Am bombing, Gadhafi's death represents justice delayed but not denied.

Brian Flynn said that when his brother John Patrick Flynn died, "I promised him and myself that I wouldn't let it go, that there would be justice."

"Today is an example that after 22 years, finally justice is done," Flynn said. "I owed him that. And I feel that the Libyan people have helped me fulfill my promise to him, an example that we've been able to do that."

Treasured objects more valuable than worth

(Real Simple.com) -- Sometimes an object is just an object, and sometimes it's so much more. Five writers describe the meaning hidden within the everyday things they cherish.

My deer carving By Roxana Robinson

The summer when I was seven, we lived on a Cherokee reservation in North Carolina. My parents were directing a Quaker work camp, and the high school students in the camp were helping to put up a community building. I spent the days on my own, swimming in the cold brown creek that ran behind the camp or walking the paths into the mountains. Along the creek were high smooth stones, and in the streambed curves were wide sandy shoals, where flocks of butterflies lit, their wings breathing slowly, open and shut. The paths were narrow and smooth, dark earth pounded by bare feet. They led back through the hollows and up onto the steep mountain shoulders. It was a beautiful place, glorious with woods and silence.

My mother loved wild places. She made friends with the Cherokees who lived on the steep wooded hillsides, and one evening she invited a medicine man to come and talk by the fire at the camp. I remember the darkness around us all, the firelight on our faces, and his gestures as he spoke.

There was a Cherokee celebration in nearby Asheville that summer, and it was the only time we left the reservation. In the evening there was a pageant showing the history of the Cherokee nation: a huge radiant stage, actors in feathers and deerskin. At an arts-and-crafts exhibition, my mother bought a small carved wooden deer. The deer has slender, exquisite legs and delicate pointed ears. It's made of a hard, smooth, pale wood -- maybe poplar? The sleek flanks, the long legs, the fine head, and the elegant contours show a deep awareness of a doe's body.

At the end of the summer, my mother brought the carving back to our house in Pennsylvania. For decades it stood on the mantelpiece in my parents' bedroom, miraculously unbroken.

A few years ago, when the house was sold, I took the deer. I had been there when she bought it, and I remembered the way the deer embodied that summer: the dense green of the mountainsides, the steep earthen paths, the cold brown creek.

I brought the carving to Connecticut, to the summer house I inherited from my mother, and which she loved. Now the deer is on the mantelpiece, in the bedroom that was once my parents' and is now my husband's and mine. She stands quietly, one foot forward, her ears swiveled, listening, her tail down, calm, alert. That's what I'd like to keep.

Roxana Robinson is the author of "Cost, A Perfect Stranger," and six other books.

Real Simple: What makes me feel beautiful

My apron (and a bit of ancient fudge) By Jancee Dunn

Sould a catastrophe strike my home, there are a couple of things I could not leave behind. They're not what you might expect: a red checked apron and a crumbling piece of candy that has been stashed in my freezer for seven years.

I should explain. I am not a hoarder. Nor am I a particularly messy cook. For 15 years, I was a music journalist. And back in 2004 I received my dream assignment: to spend a day with Loretta Lynn at her Tennessee home.

I grew up listening to Lynn's albums, which were filched from my parents and played to death on my cheap green plastic record player. In my imagination, she was always warm, funny, thoroughly lovely. So I was thrilled by the opportunity -- but jittery, too. I had learned from experience that legends aren't always who you hope they might be.

I needn't have worried. Looking sprightly in a purple sparkly shirt and black pants, Lynn greeted me at her door with a big kiss. "You hungry?" she asked, and hustled me into her kitchen. She pointed out bologna and mayonnaise in the fridge and a loaf of bread she had baked. As I demolished a sandwich, I saw her start to relax, relieved that I wasn't some uptight New York vegetarian.

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Then she made a suggestion. "Hon, why don't we make some peanut butter fudge?" As we charged around, pulling out sugar and throwing butter and hefty blobs of Jif into a pot, she regaled me with tales of her hardscrabble upbringing: how she wore flour-sack dresses and went without shoes. How dinner could consist of a possum, caught by her mother. How she didn't see a flush toilet until she was 13.

She was so absorbed in the telling, and I in the listening, that we lost track of the candy, and the concoction boiled over. The fudge came out in crumbly nuggets, but Lynn just shrugged and got two spoons. We sat barefoot on her couch and ate it like cereal.

A week after I came home, I received a package in the mail. Inside was a cheery apron, a box of fudge, and a note. "I hope you like this fudge better! I wanted to send you some to show how it's supposed to be! Love you, Loretta Lynn." I felt tingles.

It's rare to have your idols live up to your outsize expectations, and it's not fair to expect them to do so. But I felt grateful that I didn't have to disappoint that idealistic nine-year-old part of me.

I ate all the fudge except the one small chunk, but I never use the apron -- what if it got stained? Though I'm guessing that Loretta would probably laugh and tell me to put the dang thing on, already.

Jancee Dunn is the author of "Why Is My Mother Getting a Tattoo? And Other Questions I Wish I Never Had to Ask."

Real Simple: New uses for old things: the family edition

My long underwear By A.J. Jacobs

Until the age of 20, I wouldn't have been caught dead in these clothes. Undergarments, I thought, should not stretch over your entire body. I continued to hold this belief even as I grumbled about the brutal winters at my college in New England. My mother, tired of hearing my gripes, did something logical:

She bought me a pair of silk long underwear.

I was not thrilled. First...silk?! I'm a cotton and wool guy. The only type of man I could picture wearing silk was a Belgian aristocrat with a fondness for exotic birds and pincenez. Second, not being eight, I wasn't keen on the idea of my mom buying my unmentionables. She wasn't sympathetic to my protests. She explained that my dashing grandfather used to wear silk long underwear and found it so warm that he could forgo an overcoat even on the nippiest days. So I tried it. And my mother, like always, was right. I'm now on my 50th pair.

Allow me to gush: Silk long underwear is warm, lightweight, and soft. You can see why the Chinese kept silk-making a secret for hundreds of years. I have several pairs of long underwear in black and white, nothing racy. I wear mostly bottoms, but sometimes tops, too. I wear them all winter long, but also in the fall and spring and, yes, sometimes in the summer.

If friends spot the telltale white fabric peeking out from the bottoms of my jeans, they may raise their eyebrows. "Are you wearing long underwear in April?" they ask. Well, yes. Yes, I am. And you should be, too. Why do Americans find it sensible to wear three layers on top (shirt, sweater, jacket) but a single measly layer on the bottom? It's irrational, inefficient, and unfair to the legs.

Look, I have a demanding internal thermostat. Unless I'm warm, I can't function. All I can do is think, Damn, I'm cold. Without long underwear, eight months out of the year, I'm useless -- unable to do work, make conversation, anything.

Last July my wife and I went to a wedding in Napa Valley. I considered wearing long underwear under my suit but ultimately demurred. I told myself, It's summer. In California. It'll be OK.

It was freezing. I could almost see my own breath. I couldn't concentrate on the beautiful vineyard or the lovely couple. Instead, all I could think was OK, got it. Groom loves bride, bride loves groom. Love is patient, love is kind. Can you kiss already?

I was hoping the groom would toss his new bride's garter to the crowd, because I would have hip-checked all the other guests in order to grab it and put it on. It would've been better than nothing.

A. J. Jacobs is the author of the upcoming book "Drop Dead Healthy: One Man's Humble Quest for Bodily Perfection."

Real Simple: Low-key, stress-free organized home

My treasure chest by Diana Abu-Jaber

Adults don't always notice it, tucked against the wall of the dining room, but it's always the first thing children run to. "What's in there?" they ask, playing with its clasp. "Can I open it?"

Fifteen years ago, I was strolling through the ancient Khan el-Khalili souk, in Cairo, with my friend Aida. She lived in Jordan, and she had convinced me to fly out and meet her for a getaway vacation. We passed stalls filled with damasks and gold bangles, girls selling jasmine, and boys balancing teacups on trays. Then we entered a shop filled with boxes, each decorated in an intricate arabesque pattern.

There I spotted the treasure chest, its lovely curved top, meticulous wooden inlay, and crimson interior -- the stuff of fables, of camels and royal caravans. Nearly two feet high, it weighed about 20 pounds -- an inconvenient souvenir. I wanted it, and yet...I couldn't afford it.

I was an assistant professor; my salary was pitiful. The jaunt to Cairo was already a financial stretch. I shook my head over the price tag: 1,700 Egyptian pounds. Translation: hundreds of American dollars. Aida saw how much I wanted it. My friend didn't have much money, either, but she was whip-smart and resourceful.

"Do you love it?" she asked. I nodded. "I do."

"This is robbery!" she shouted. Her fists were on her hips. The merchant jumped to attention.

"Madame, this chest is a work of art," the man sputtered. "It's handcrafted!" Aida laughed, the man huffed, and thus ensued a grand power struggle. She was scornful; he was appalled. She called him a thief; he questioned her sanity. Time passed. Men squatted against the doorway with demitasses, sipping and murmuring as if at a spectator sport. Five times Aida dragged me toward the door, the man shouting, "Go on then!" -- only to catch up to us later, grudgingly offering another price.

In all, the negotiation took nearly three hours, and by the time they had settled on a price (80 percent off!), I realized that both Aida and the merchant had had a ball.

A few years later, my friend became ill. Aida passed away at 38, before she had had a chance to get married or have children. But now, every time kids rush to the chest and open the lid, the scents of the marketplace -- cumin, silver, sweat -- enter the air, and everything comes back to me: the fine fire in Aida's face, her patience, her will. She didn't buy the chest for me; she made it possible for me to have it -- which is in some way even better. The things I value most about this gift cannot be seen, yet they exist like a genie in its bottle, private and enduring as friendship itself.

Diana Abu-Jaber is the author of the recent novel "Birds of Paradise," among other books.

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My anniversary pearls By Anne Kreamer

My husband, Kurt, and I met on a blind date on November 4, 1977. He was 23; I was 21. It was a madcap evening: After a classical concert at Carnegie Hall, we dined at a restaurant we considered swanky at the time, played Pong at a video arcade, and ended up dancing into the morning at a disco, amid a dry-ice haze.

It still stands as the datiest date of our lives. We married four years later, in May 1981, but every year, we've chosen to celebrate our relationship on the anniversary of that wonderful first night together.

Each year, Kurt has been a thoughtful, careful gift giver. But on our 30th blind-date commemoration, in 2007, he outdid himself. On the public radio show that he hosts, he broadcast a love song for me that he had commissioned from a balladeer-for-hire. The lyrics, referring to our respective hometowns -- "If I'd jumped into the Missouri River in Omaha when I was 17 and had it carry me down to Kansas City, I bet you would have rescued me..." -- moved me to tears.

Later came yet another, more private present.

On the card affixed to a wrapped box were three cryptic numbers: 10,957; 30; and 1. Thirty, I understood; the others, I wasn't so sure about. When I opened the box, it became clear. He had given me one beautiful spherical crystal vase, filled with 10,957 miniature seed pearls, representing the number of days in our years together, and 30 full-size pearls indicating those years.

I was moved, and surprised, too. Pearls are traditionally associated with the 30th wedding anniversary. And tradition has never featured prominently in our lives as a couple: I kept my maiden name when we got married; I didn't want an engagement ring; I refused to wear a standard wedding veil.

Real Simple: Inspiring stories of marriages that survived

But soon I gained a deeper understanding of the gesture. Pearls are hard to harvest, and it can take years for the layers of nacre to form over a grain of sand, transforming it into a plump, iridescently lustrous pearl. The metaphor for a long marriage is obvious -- from nothing, slowly but surely, despite and maybe because of the grit and grime a couple endures together, comes something lovely.

Today, when I glance at the vase nestled near my desk, as it dynamically reflects the changing light of the day, I smile, thinking of Kurt's romantic, indulgent folly. Of how many hours it must have taken Kurt to count those 10,957 miniscule pearls. And I marvel once again at how poetically they embody the giddy night that we came together, and the life that we've shared ever since.

Anne Kreamer is the author of the books "It's Always Personal" and "Going Gray."

Lohan misses first day of community service

Los Angeles (CNN) -- Actress Lindsay Lohan missed her first day of community service at the Los Angeles County morgue Thursday, one day after a judge rebuked her for similar failures, revoked her probation and forced her to post $100,000 bail.

"Lindsay arrived at the morgue approximately 20 minutes late and will be returning for orientation tomorrow," said her publicist Steven Honig.

"Her lateness was due to a combination of not knowing what entrance to go through and confusion caused by the media waiting for her arrival," Honig said in a statement. "Lindsay spoke with the supervisors at the morgue. They showed her how to get in, and everything is all cleared up."

Chief Coroner Craig Harvey said Lohan failed to show up on time -- 7 a.m. Pacific -- to the coroner's office Thursday.

Though she arrived late, Lohan was turned away because there wasn't enough time to complete her hours for the day, officials said.

Los Angeles County Superior Court Judge Stephanie Sautner ruled Wednesday that after Lohan posted $100,000 bail for her probation revocation, she had to perform two working shifts -- or eight hours a day -- twice a week until Lohan's probation revocation hearing November 2.

Lohan's tardiness Thursday doesn't mean she is turned away from the program, Harvey said. If Lohan shows up Friday on time, she will be allowed to work and perform her community service, Harvey said.

The coroner's office will dismiss Lohan from her morgue duties only if she does something "terribly" wrong or shows misconduct, Harvey said.