Football Massacre in Honduras

Unknown gunmen have attacked a group of people playing football in northern Honduras, killing at least fourteen people.

Armando Calidonio, Honduras's vice-minister for security, said that around five attackers armed with assualt rifles pulled up in a car at the football field in the northern city of San Pedro Sula, where they shot the victims at point blank range before fleeing.

Calidonio said 10 people died at the scene and another four died en route to hospital. Others were wounded, some seriously, he added.

The attack took place in a poor neighbourhood of the city known for being home to hundreds of gang members with a reputation for violence.

Calidonio said authorities thought the massacre could be a case of score settling between criminals but did not offer more details.

Mass shootings are not uncommon in Honduras. Steet gangs, known as "Maras'', are blamed for rampant violent crime, extortion and more recently acting as enforcers for drug cartels.

In September, gunmen killed 18 shoe factory employees in San Pedro Sula in a shooting blamed on gang rivalries.

Six youths were slain in a home last month, also in San Pedro Sula. Authorities linked that massacre to the drug trade.

Honduras is on track to finish the year with the world's highest murder rate, with a rate of 78.8 per 100,000 people, according to a report by the government human rights ombusdman.

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Halloween Head Shot

Children trick-or-treating Thursday at a Newberry Township mobile-home park got a terrible fright when they discovered a man who had committed suicide on his front stoop, police said.

"I'm sure it was very upsetting to the children who saw him -- and to their families," Newberry Township Police Chief John Snyder said. "To me, it's something they're probably going to remember for the rest of their lives. I wish an adult would have found him before the kids did."

Police were called to Lot 113 of the Conewago Valley Mobile Home Park, at 800 York Road, about 6:20 p.m. after the trick-or-treating children found the man and reported it to a neighbor, Snyder said.

The man used a handgun to fatally shoot himself, the chief said; it appeared it was a head wound.

"We don't know when he committed suicide," Snyder said, or how long the man was lying on his stoop.

"I'm confused as to why no one during the day saw it," he said. "I assume people thought he was a (Halloween) decoration. The way he was lying there, you wouldn't have known if he was just taking a nap or if he was a decoration."

Quickly covered: Responding officers covered the man with a sheet as soon as they could and blocked off the area of his home from other trick-or-treaters, Snyder said.

The man was 68 years old, according to the York County Coroner's Office; no autopsy is planned.

"He was very ill ... and he didn't want to go to a hospital or a (nursing) home," Snyder said. "I just wish he'd have done it somewhere else. When people commit suicide, they don't think about the people around them -- they only think about themselves. It's one of the most selfish things you can do."

There was only a small amount of blood visible at the scene, the chief said; the man wasn't really visible from the street so it's likely not too many children saw him.

"Don't get me wrong -- it's still not a good thing for children to see," he said.

Gun: The handgun was still on the stoop, half hidden between the man's legs, according to Snyder.

"Unless you looked for it, you wouldn't have seen it," he said.

Snyder said the man lived alone and, based on the inside of his home, was a very clean, tidy person. That might have contributed to the man's decision not to kill himself inside his trailer, the chief said.

Snyder said because the man was found shortly after trick-or-treat started, it limited the number of children exposed to the scene.

"That's some consolation," he said, adding that officers spoke with the children who did witness the suicide scene.

"We did our best to talk to them," Snyder said. "It was bad timing all around."

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Drug War Drive-by Massacre in Mexico

Six men were gunned down in a drive-by massacre in Mexico City last night, sparking fears that the capital has finally succumbed to the country's brutal drug war.

It was the fifth apparently unrelated massacres inside seven days and took the week's body count past 50.
Earlier that day in Ciudad Juarez, a town bordering Mexico and the U.S., four people were killed and more than two dozen seriously wounded when a convoy of gunmen attacked buses carrying factory workers.

Drive-by: A police officer stands next to the bodies of two of the six men shot to death in the Tepito massacre

However, the street-corner shooting in Tepito carries more significance because it shows the drug war is spreading brazenly into previously safer streets.

Just after midnight, gunmen jumped out of a white SUV and blasted to death six men in their 20s and 30s, who were gathered outside a corner shop in Tepito. A seventh man survived.

Farmville Made Mother Kill Baby

A 22-year-old mother from Jacksonville, Florida, has pleaded guilty to second-degree murder for shaking her 3-month-old son to death after his crying interrupted her FarmVille game.

The mother, Alexandra V. Tobias, was arrested in January and declared her plea on Wednesday before Circuit Judge Adrian G. Soud, The Florida Times-Union reports.

She told investigators that she shook the baby, smoked a cigarette “to compose herself,” and proceeded to shake him again. The baby may have hit his head during one of the two shakings, she said.

FarmVille, named one of the “worst inventions” in recent decades by Time magazine, has more than 60 million members, most of whom access the game through Facebook (Facebook). Some players have found it so addicting that they’ve lost their jobs and racked up debts north of $1,000.

Needless to say, it is Ms. Tobias — and not the game itself — that is responsible for the death of her 3-month-old son. This is not the first time that a virtual game has led to murder; in 2009, 28-year-old Joseph Johnson of Chicago was charged with first-degree murder after allegedly shooting his companion in the head while playing an Xbox game.

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Lauren Valle was Targeted for Stomping

The MoveOn worker who was attacked by Rand Paul supporters has now spoken out about the assault, claiming she was "injured," "in severe shock," and that she has no doubt that the attack was "premeditated."

She also vowed "further legal action."

Lauren Valle, who was dragged to the ground and had her head stepped on during a scuffle outside last night's Kentucky Senate debate, detailed the attack in a conference call with several reporters. She described it as being at least as bad as the footage suggests.

"My memory of it is sort of that of a traumatized person," she said. "I distinctly remember a blow to my head."

Some have suggested Valle tried to bait Paul into getting photographed with her, but she said she didn't get close enough for that to happen. She said she had been yelling out to "Dr. Paul" in the crowd, in order to get him to respond to her effort to give him an award from the fake company "Republicorps." But she added she never got a chance to get close to him because she was "targeted."

Valle said the attackers had identified her well in advance of the assault.

"They identified me as a MoveOn worker, and as someone they knew from prior campaign events," she said. "And so, about five minutes before Rand Paul showed up, they motioned to each other to start taking photographs of me." She added that they formed a "blockade" behind her.

"It was premeditated," she continued. "As soon as Rand Paul's car showed up they started to move in front of me."

I asked her why she was able to give subsequent interviews last night, if she'd been severely hurt. She pushed back, saying the full brunt of the pain hit her later.

"I was in severe shock," she said, adding that the pain in her head started in earnest "an hour and a half afterwards."

"I was certainly injured," she said. "If you have any questions about that, maybe watch it again."

Tim Profitt, Paul's Bourbon County coordinator, has admitted to being behind the attack, and the Paul campaign has disassociated itself with him.

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Rachael Leigh Cook Hates Photoshopped Women

More pictures

In an unusual move for a celebrity, Rachael Leigh Cook, a hot actress who took part in the movie "She's All That", made a vocal condemnation of the media industry's common practice of photoshopping female celebrities to make them look more attractive. She advises women and young girls to know more about the Photoshop software and its ability to artificially enhance the looks of celebrities. Cook considers the airbrushing of celebrities to be extremely offensive despite the fact that it helps the media businesses market those celebrities more successfully. She also claims that it's bad for young girls because it sets unrealistic standards for beauty and attractiveness. Furthermore, she considers it a crime to use modified images of real celebrities for advertising because it's deceptive. Cook stresses that those images shouldn't be taken seriously. To emphasize her seriousness in the issue, Cook had joined several organizations that are against photoshopping, such as the Creative Coalition and the Girl Scouts.

If one looks at the pictures of Cook, it's not surprising that she's against photoshopping. She's one of the celebrities that are good looking without putting on much makeup or relying on graphical enhancement. For other celebrities, computer graphical technology is a blessing to them. It helps them look better in front of the public. Instead of trying to make the media industry ban such practice, Cook should just spread the word that many of the celebrity pictures are photoshopped.

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Styrofoam Crumbs Sicken Woman

ROCHESTER — A mysterious white powder that came in the mail with her  dress has forced Patricia McBride and her husband, Mike, from their home  and caused her several health problems.

Tests have shown that  the substance isn't a biohazard, such as anthrax or ricin, and a private  laboratory in Somersworth has indicated the substance is micro sized  polystyrene particles.

However, McBride is convinced the substance included something else that is making her sick.

On  Friday, officials from EnviroVantage of Epping were at the McBrides'  Erin Lane home attempting to vacuum up additional particles of the  substance. The collected particles have been sent away for additional  testing.

"I want to know what this is," said a frustrated  McBride, who has spent the last two weeks living in a camper parked in  her driveway.

McBride's issues started on Oct. 3 when a dress that she had ordered came in the mail. The dress came third party from China.

"When I looked at the dress it didn't appear navy blue as ordered and I  found it was because there was white powder all over it and in the  clear bag which was folded over and closed with two pieces of tape," she  said.

Within an hour of handling the dress McBride said her  hands began to itch. A few days later she was at Wentworth-Douglass  Hospital with a swollen, hot, itchy right hand and itchy hot left hand  and two huge welts. She was given some medication and it relieved the  initial reaction, she said.

At the advising of a family member,  McBride called police to alert them about the substance and members of  the fire department responded to her home.

The substance was  bagged and taken to the Rochester Fire Department where it was tested by  regional Haz-Mat team. It tested negative for being a biohazard,  according to an after incident report.

McBride said she was told  to vacuum her home, which she did with a mask and gloves. She was also  told since the substance tested negative for being a biohazard, the  city's responsibility was done and she would have to seek the services  of a private lab if she wanted to know what the substance was.

"I was extremely upset that this substance was in my home and being treated so lightly," she said.

McBride  then tried to get the substance tested at the state lab in Concord but  was told they didn't have enough white powder to conduct a sample. In  addition, somewhere between the fire department and lab, the original  clear plastic dress bag the substance was in went missing, according to  McBride.

From there, McBride said she struggled to reach the state and get a clear answer to whether they tested anything at all.

The  McBrides' struggles continued as they decided to move into their camper  on Oct. 7. McBride said she took her C-Pap machine for her sleep apnea  with her, wiping down the top of it because it had some of the white  powder on it.

"I didn't even think about the head gear and mask  which were between my bed and nightstand and took them out to the camper  with the machine," she said.

McBride had originally opened the package in her bedroom in the area those items were kept.

She  put the mask on to take a nap and woke with a large fat lip. She  returned to Wentworth-Douglass Hospital and was given some medication.

McBride  said she used the machine again on Oct. 9 and woke up with a swollen  tongue, a sore and swollen throat, hoarseness and a few welts on her  head. She would later go to Portsmouth Regional Hospital where she was  given high doses of steroids.

The problems persisted and McBride  was referred to a specialist in Kittery, Maine, and given more  medication. McBride said she is now being referred to Massachusetts  General Hospital in Boston.

"The state doesn't want to hear from  us anymore and won't release what they have tested for and at this point  we don't really know if they did any testing because they kept telling  us they didn't have much powder to go on, but they did test for anthrax  and ricin," she said. "So we continue to live in our camper not knowing  what this substance is and not able to get our house cleaned without  exposing somebody else."

Chris Adamski, chief of disease control  at the state Department of Health and Human Services, wasn't aware of  McBride's case but said it's state protocol to test for anthrax and  other biological threats.

If something is deemed a biological threat, the state would be involved in that case, she said.

"We can rule out biological threats, but can't identify all chemicals," she said.

Dr.  Karen Simone, a clinical toxicologist with the Northern New England  Poison Center, said it's unlikely that someone would get symptoms like  the ones described by McBride from polystyrene particles.

"Polystyrene is generally not thought of as being very harmful at all," she said. "It's in stuff we use every day."

Simone  said people who are exposed to large amounts of polystyrene dust can  become irritated by it, but noted it would have to be a really large  amount.

McBride said she is well aware about polystyrene not  being considered harmful and that's why she feels it could be something  else.

In addition to contacting EnviroVantage, McBride has  reached out to several local and state politicians, seeking help in  identifying the substance.

As for the dress, McBride had ordered it for a friend's wedding but never attended the wedding because she was too sick.
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Welfare Gone Wild: Massive Strike Cripping France's Economy

The expectable national protests continue in France after it began a few days ago. The most immediate is on its economy. Garbage and recyclable refuse remain on the the sidewalks with no garbage trucks to pick them up, causing a foul stench to permeate many of France's streets. Many transportation services are inactive. Refineries are shut down and those people who were willing to work were forced off by the strikers. Ships remain anchored offshore because the seaports were all closed. Road blocks placed by the strikers ensured that many people won't be able to get to work or where they want to go on time or at all, causing many drivers to abandon their cars. This was all caused by the French government's decision to change the age for retirement from sixty to sixty-two. Talk about welfare gone wild. In America, this would never happen.

To many people in France, this is actually normal, since French citizens expect the government to take care of them. They are protesting the fact that the government is trying to shed its role of being a caretaker for its people. This contrasts to what is happening in America where people complaining of too much government intervention. Some Americans think they are working harder than the French because the French have many work benefits and comfortable working schedules. At its current state, France is a good example of a socialistic state. If these protests become more frequent, France might undergo another revolution in the future.

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Driver Drove with Mummified Passenger in Car for At Least 3 Months

It was initially thought to be some Halloween prank. A less-than-sane driver, acting on good Samaritan instincts, once provided free transportation to a homeless by the name of Signe and allowed her to sleep in the car. At one point the homeless died. Her cause of death is yet to be determined but the driver is currently not held responsible for Signe's death. After Signe died, the driver continued driving with the dead body of the woman inside the car for at least three months and possibly up to ten. The driver was too afraid to report her death to the authorities. To ease the stench, the driver used air fresheners and despite the contrary evidence, claimed that the odors emanating wasn't that bad. Apparently the driver had developed a resistance to the foul smell over time, which was also contributed by the driver's sinus issues.

The dead body wasn't discovered until the smell became so bad that the neighbors had to called police to complain of the fetid smell. In a strange case, the autopsy showed that corpse had became a thirty-pound mummy. Everything was well preserved except for the woman's head. The officer who first discovered to body felt like stumbling upon some ancient Egyptian mummy. While the police say that the driver won't be charge with felonies, the driver might have violated certain local codes dealing with dead human bodies.

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Twenty-year-old Female Student Becomes Police Chief of Mexico's Most Dangerous Town

Mexico makes history by hiring the youngest woman for the position of police chief in one the most dangerous towns in the world. Marisol Valles Garcia, a twenty-year-old criminology student, took the dangerous job because no one else was willing to take the position due to it being a common target for the drug lords. She works in a small office in Guadalupe Distrito Bravo, part of the municipality of Praxedis G Guerrero. Just recently in June, the mayor of the town, Jesus Manuel Lara Rodriguez, was killed by the drug gangs. Many police officers were also killed. The drug war between the rival gangs Sinaloa and Juarez have claimed over two thousand lives in the past year. Currently, the town is controlled by Gabino Salas Valenciano, leader of the Sinaloa cartel.

Valles Garcia is very brave, but unfortunately she lacks sufficient experience. In this case, she's probably just acting as a figurehead. No one would take her seriously. Although she proposed several ideas for crime prevention, improving neighborly relations, and cycling the police forces, there's much doubt that any of them would work. With only one police car and four officers to maintain the peace in a town of ten-thousand people, there's little hope for success in fighting the drug gangs. Like the previous police chief, she'll probably end up raped and murdered.

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Cross-Dressing Commander Rapist

In a sexual crime spree that shocked the entire nation of Canada, Colonel Russell Williams, a forty-seven-year-old commander of Canada's biggest air force base, the 437 Squadron, was charged with 86 counts of sex-related crimes, two of them which were murders. It was a surprise to many people who knew him, including his wife. He was one of the most decorated veterans in Canada. Having commanded the humanitarian missions to Haiti, Aghanistan, and Artic rescue missions, he was an exemplary soldier, praised by many people, and was a recommended candidate for many top military jobs. However, no one knew the sick and perverted monster that lied within his friendly exterior.

His sexual rampage came to an end when Williams was finally arrested in Feburary for the abduction and murder of Jessica Llyod. Williams was later linked to the murder of a female corporal and the air base that he commanded. Both were choked to death. The other crimes he committed in large numbers involved breaking into homes and stealing women's lingerie and sex toys. Sometimes when women happened to be home during his burglary attempt, he would tie them up and rape them. Williams would also make his female victims pose for sexual photographs. On a few ocassions he would taunt his victims by leaving a message with the words "seen better". All of these crimes were committed in Belleville, Ottawa, and Tweed. He had a neat-freak approach to storing his stolen collection of female lingerie and toys: everything is carefully sorted by style and color, and stored in specific containers. As if that wasn't weird enough, he had a penchant for photographing himself while wearing women's lingerie, going as far as putting on a serious look.

The sick pervert was tried in a courtroom in Belleville, Ontario with the victims' families attending. Williams pleaded guilty to all counts without showing any regret or emotion. He will be stuck in the slammer for the rest of his life.

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Rumors of Cannibalism and Sex Amongst Chilean Miners

The Chilean miners' agreement to stay silent about their horrible experiences underground in the collasped mine is already broken. Some are willing spill the beans about the embarrassing and gruesome details if the price is right. Despite the severe shortage of food and sex, one unnamed miner adamantly denied that cannibalism and gay sex were ever considered, though they were still options had they been down there longer without discovery by the outside world.

The thirty-three miners, during their stay underground, made an unofficial pact regarding profits earned by recounting their experiences to the media. They agreed to split any money earned from their story evenly. However some are already regretting the pact and others are outright ignoring it. One of the miners, Jorge Galleguillos, claimed that the agreement wasn't legally binding and that he has to look out for number one. He didn't feel any comraderie for the other miners that were trapped with him. You can't really blame him for caring only about money.

Mario Sepulveda, one of the more crafty miners, used a more subtle tactic to break the pact by saying that he's coming out with the truth in order to quiet the rumors about their alleged cannibalism and sex during the 69 days trapped down there. However, he acknowledged that some people broke down and became hysterical, but repeated again and again that they never ever had any "Brokeback" sex or even thought about it. However, there's no doubt they each have at least masturbated alone. Without such relief, no one could remain sane for long.

As usual in these kind of dramatic events, government officials such as the current president of Chile and various publishers and media outlets have made plans to milk profits from the miners' retelling of their experiences. The president of Chile, Sebastian Pinera, is already scoring political points with his involvement and the media gained lots of viewers during the coverage of the event. Next thing to come are the books, videos, and interviews.

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Cutting Down Forests to Fight Prostitution

Due to many recent failures in enforcing anti-prostitution laws, Angelo di Paolo came up with a ingenious solution to solve the prostitution problem. Prostitution has been a major problem in the Italian region of Abruzzo that authorities have sought to eliminate. Ever since the rise of the conservatives in the national Italian government, fighting prostitution has become one of the top priorities. This was spear-headed by anti-prostitution legislation introduced by Mara Carfagna, equal opportunity minister, who herself once worked in the softcore porn industry. The laws complement with Silvio Berlusconi's plan to fight against human trafficking, which is responsible for a significant portion of the prostitution problem.

Angelo di Paolo's solution was simple: Clear the entire 69 acres of wilderness that surrounds the Bonifica del Tronto road. Every plant life along the River Tonto needs to be permanently removed. By removing the natural cover for the prostitutes, it will discourage them from selling their bodies in the area. Paolo came up with this brilliant idea after the recent failures in 24-hour patrols, raiding, and electronic survelliance. Many environmentalists complained of course. It's unclear whether or not the plan will curb prostitution or simply make them move to other areas.

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Earthworm Salad - New Russian Delicacy

A new dish with earthworms as the main ingredient appeared in Russia. It would not have been know to the outside world if it weren't for the bravery of the forty-year-old Dmitri Zelenin, governor of the Tver region in Russia. He managed to secretly take a photo of the live worm that was crawling actively on his plate and publicized it on Twitter, a popular social networking site. Instead of being disgusted by the worm, he actually found it funny. However, his colleagues and other members of the Russian government unfortunately didn't share his sense of humor. Zelenin's mental competence was attacked and many called for his resignation and expulsion. Most vocal of all was Sergei Prikhodko, Medvedev's lap dog. Obviously, this means incident was an embarrasment to the ruling body of Russia. The chef who was responsible for the dinner, Anatoly Galkin, denied that there were earthworms in any of the dishes, saying that each and every dish was carefully examined. The moral of the story is that some people just can't take a joke.

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Terrorists Accuse Author of Being a Terrorist

In the predominantly Muslim country of Indonesia, an author who used to work for Playboy as an editor was arrested and jailed on charges of public indecency. It was a powerful victory for the Islamist extremists in Indonesia, which has one of the large Muslim populations in the whole world. Erwin Arnada was initially exonerated in 2007 after being sued by the Islamist Defenders Front(FPI), a terrorist organization masquerading as a non-violent group that dubbed the author a "terrorist" and loudly condemned him and his actions. The localized Playboy magazine was forced out of business in Indonesia shortly before Arnada was imbroiled in the lawsuit.

His victory in the court in 2007 was initially victory for the freedom of speech in Indonesia. However, that victory was short-lived when he was arrested again recently. The Islamist Defenders Front managed to get their appeal answered the newer court overturned the original ruling. The increasing extremism of politics in Indonesia is demonstrated by the passing of the law that made pornography illegal in all its forms. Many Indonesians protested the harsh law, especially the more Westernized locality of Bali, where foreigners frequently visit. Will Indonesia become another Iran? It probably will, if the extremists manage to dominate the whole of Indonesian politics.

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Nazi Lover Becomes Political Candidate

Rich Iott of Ohio, a Republican running for being a congressional representative, is being accused of being a Nazi because he was known for his fascination with the German Nazis. He collected Nazi memorabilia and acted in historical shows of reenacting the battles that Nazi Germany fought. His affiliation with a shady organization called the "Wiking", referring specifically to a Nazi army division in World War II, was claimed to be strictly academic despite the fact that the group had a white-washed views of the Nazis. He vehemently denied that he held Nazi beliefs despite having previously praised the military prowess of the Nazis in their ability to take over Europe and parts of Russia in record time.

A quick view website of the "Wiking" Nazi club seem to contradict the notion that the group's mission statement doesn't reflect the values of Nazism. There's a video of the Nazis marching triumphantly in Poland, a white-washed historical summary of the Wiking division, and praising the Wiking division's noble, holy battle against the inevitable onslaught of communism coming west from the Soviet Union. Invoking the general sentiment of good versus evil, they placed the Nazis on the side of the good.

Historians, trying to act as political correct as possible, label the group as idiots who don't know any history. They are basically delusional folk want to see the Nazis in the way want to see it: heroes fighting a holy war against communism. Well, the positive thing is that at least they're not denying the existence of the Holocaust. Despite his well-known past connection to the group, Rich Iott dubiously denies that he believes in Nazism and hopes that Jewish voters won't take his hobbies seriously

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Korean Man in Wheelchair Autodarwinates

In an utterly stupid way, an obnoxious man in a wheelchair plunges to his death hundreds of feet down an elevator shaft for a ridiculous reason: he lacked patience. The horrific accident happened in a busy shopping center in Daejon, South Korea when the wheelchair man was rushing to the elevator whose doors were closing fast after a woman pressed the close button on the elevator. Anger rose rapidly the forty-year-old man known as Mr. Lee when he kept pressing the button near the elevator door to no effect. By that time the elevator had already risen. Not even bothering to think about the possible consequences, Mr. Lee proceeded to ram the closed elevator doors with his motorized wheelchair, causing dents to form on the doors. Unfortunately, during his last attempt the doors of the elevator opened the moment his chair was moving rapidly towards them. Unable to stop his wheelchair, he plunged to his death far down below. Security cameras recorded all of the man's foolishness. The management of the shopping center later made plans to improve the strength of the doors on the elevators so similar accidents won't happen again.

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FBI Invades Puerto Rico by the Hundreds

In a surprise bust that shocked the establishment in Peurto Rico, several hundreds FBI agents, in the operation they dubbed "Guard Shack", executed one of the largest concentrated national FBI efforts in U.S. history. The bulk of the FBI forces descended via planes in a manner that one would think could only happen in action movies among the unsuspecting criminals across Puerto Rico. Over 130 corrupt police officers and civil servants were arrested on various charges dealing with corruption and whatnot.

All suspects except for four of them were successfully apprehended. It was the culmination of many months of undercover operations involving illicit drug deals. Surprisingly, no one was wounded in the bust. Some of the suspects were actually warned the night before the massive raid, but apparently it was already too late for most of them. The huge number of suspects and arrests highlights the major corruption problems in Puerto Rico.

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Drains Clogged Up by Condoms in the Commonwealth Games

The common practice to give free condoms to Olympic athletes since 1992 has never been a problem until now in Delhi, New India. Officials reported that four thousand condoms were distribte from the in-house vending machines since the start of the Commonwealth games. However, this unexpectedly have given rise to a exceptional plumbing problem that led to odorous, clogged drains. This was the most recent woe following the previous problem with a massive diarrhoea outbreak among many atheletes residing in the athletic village that houses seven-thousand people, which was due to unsanitary conditions.

Because the drains were blocked by thousands of condoms, the atheletes had no choice but to go elsewhere to execute their routine bodily functions. Game organizers are working on a solution to clear the drains, which are technologically dated and ill-maintained. Seeking to shine a positive light on the problem, top official of the games, Mike Fennell, said that the excessive amount of condoms clogging the drains is a good sign that people are taking preventive measures against sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies. Due to this and many other problems, such as various technical difficulties, inadequate transport, food shortage, and bad overall organization of the games in India, spectators began dwindling in number despite reassurances from organizers claiming that there'll be full seating.

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Canadian Spammer Forced to Pay $1 Billion to Facebook

A recent case demonstrated how the power of the U.S. anti-spam laws can cross international boundaries. The most notorious spammer of Facebook, Adam Guerbuez, who euphemistically calls himself an internet marketing professional, was arrested and tried for spamming the hell out of Facebook, a famous social networking website. For months he had inundated Facebook with countless penis enlargement ads to the disgust of many of its users. After receiving many user complaints, Facebook was forced to take legal action against Guerbuez. That the Canadian court sided with Facebook proves that no foreign citizen is safe from the U.S. anti-spam rules.

The record-setting case became a warning against anyone would dare follow the same path as Guerbuez. However, unlike the other spammers who went on trial before, Guerbuez didn't make much money from his endeavors. By declaring bankruptcy, Facebook was unable to get even one cent from him. In addition to the payment for the huge damages, he was also perma-banned from face for the rest of his life. However, Guerbuez was unfazed by the ruling for the trial had given him favorable publicity. He's recognized among the inner circles as one of the greatest Canadian spammers and earned a lucrative book deal. Was the court's ruling really punishment enough for him?

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Sailor's Body Found Inside Shark

A was a typical fishing trip during free time for Humphrey Simmons, who works for Xanthos Investment Company as a banker. Together with his two pals, Keith Ferguson and Stanley Bernard, they went over thirty-five miles south of Nassau to catch fish. Unexpectedly they encountered a shark that was goppling up the fishes that they were trying to catch. Even when they tried to get the boat far away from the shark, the shark kept on following them, most likely because of the blood trail that the boat was leaving behind.

Finally, Simmons and his friends decided to take a drastic course of action. They decided to catch the gluttonous shark that was spoiling their fishing trip. Using a fishing rod with a high tension line, they managed to catch the shark, but they noticed that it was extremely heavy. The shark also a had an extremely foul stench in its mouth as if it swallowed a load of shit. Once it got partially onboard, the shark coughed up a human leg, shocking everyone on board, including the 10-year daughter of Simmons, who ran back to the cabin screaming hysterically. Unable to restrain the shark, they were forced to use a shotgun to kill it. Afterwords they traveled back to shore on Nassau and contacted the authorities. The shark was split opened at its belly and out popped a headless, mangled human body that's partially digested. The police suspect that it's one of the three sailors who were missing at sea recently. What a horrible way for a sailor to die.

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John Maden Acted Out Snuff Fantasy on 12-Year-Old Niece

In a sick act that shocked the whole of Britain, John Maden, a thirty-eight year old jobless man living in Manchester, England, raped and murdered his twelve-year-old niece Tia Rigg in his own home. His niece never suspected a thing because she had baby sit for his uncle on many occasions. This time, however, she met her end at the hands of her sick uncle. She was first drugged with medication that Maden usually took to treat his mental problems, and the tortured, raped, and finally killed through stabbing and strangling with a guitar string. After the deed, he called 999 and calmly told the operator that he raped and killed his niece because "he felt like it".

Tunneling Across the Southern Border for Drugs

The recent explosion in drug-related crime and illegal immigration led to the use of unmanned aircraft (UAVs) in patrolling our southern border with Mexico. This complements the border patrol agents working on foot or with vehicles, bikes, and speed boats to stem the tide of illegal immigrants and unscrupulous drug smugglers. With the increased enforcement of the southern border on land and sea, along with the encouragement of citizens to report immigrants who came her illegally, drug smugglers have increasingly resorted to the use of underground tunnels, which are now being built and discovered at an alarming frequency.

Recently, border patrol agents have discovered a tunnel under Nogales, one of many immigration checkpoints in southern Unite States. This was one of the several discovered in the city recently, which made use of the preexisting storm drain tunnels. The drain tunnels wouldn't have been built in the first place if it weren't for the fact the Mexican side of the border has a higher elevation compared to the U.S. side of the border. The high elevations enable excess run-off to flow into the river more easily.

About one underground drug tunnel is discovered per month. The drug tunnels range in quality from tight worm holes to sophisticated ones with lighting and ventilation. They were either discovered by accident, through careful observation, or through reports of alert citizens. The discovery of the tunnel usually ends with a major drug bust on the U.S. side of the border. Drugs that manage to get through will end up in the hands of the local drug dealers and possibly medical marijuana dispensaries. Why is the war against drugs so hard to win? Maybe we need immigration reform that's more strict on illegal immigrants.

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Kagan Avoids Judging Over Half of Upcoming Supreme Court Cases

There are over 52 appeals cases waiting to be heard in the Supreme court and more are waiting. However, Kagan won't hear about half of them, which means that she won't he a deciding factor their outcomes. She's repeating what she did in her former job as Solicitor General in order to avoid being viewed as biased and having conflicts of interest. In other words, she's dodging the issues.

One of the most prominent cases is the issue military funeral protests in Snyder v. Phelps. The point of contentions is the balancing of privacy and freedom of speech. The father of a slained marine sed the Westboro Baptist Church for violating the privacy of his son's funeral. Lower courts were unable to settle the case so it went all the way to the Supreme court. The protestors are obvious nutcases and the justices should resolve this particular case quickly.

Teen's Brain Pickled in Jar

Several months ago, in State Island, New York, A young lad by the name of Jesse Shipley died in a horrific car accident in which he was the passenger. Shortly after his burial, Jesse's former girlfriend and his friends who happened to be part of the forensics club went to the local morgue on a field trip. They expected to see dead bodies, but what shocked them the most was that they found Jesse Shipley's brain being pickled in a jar of formaldehyde. They would've realized it if it weren't for his named being written on the label of the jar. His close friends and family began going crazy and hysterical after hearing the shocking news.

Jesse Shipley's parents later to sued the city government in an attempt to reclaim the brain. The medical examiner still claimed that there was nothing wrong with holding onto Jesse's brain. He was just trying to save enough brains so that he could test all of them in one fell swoop in his next trip to the testing facility. In other words, it was all for efficiency. Not satisified with the explanation, the Shipleys pressed on despite the rejection from the appeals panel when the city attempted to get the case tossed. They added a further accusation that Jesse's brain was labeled in a derogatory manner. It shouldn't be that much of a surprise that this happened because even Michael Jackson was buried without his brain.

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Taliban Banned in Video Games Under Military Pressure

Electronic Arts self-censored it's latest Medal of Honor game under pressure from the U.S. Military and also because it didn't want to lose more profits. A simple fix to eliminate the controversial aspect of the game was done by simply changing the name of the Taliban to OpFor, which is the ancronym for "Opposing Force". In the previous month, the military banned the sale of the game from its in-base stores because certain members of the militry found it extremely offensive to allow players to choose the side of the Taliban and shoot American troops. Since the military servicemen makes up a significant portionof EA's customers, they had to make the change. Another threat was the possibility of a massive backlash from conservative and extremist groups in America.

Greg Goodrich, in a carefully worded public statement, announced his support of the change as discreetly as possible, saying that it was for the honor and respect of all people who are serving in the military. However, there's no guarantee that the US Military will retract the ban of the sale of the game in its bases.

This case is similar to what Konami faced previously when it decided to create a shooter based on the events of Fullajah. Unfortunately this potentially awesome game will never see the light of day because the company canned it due to controversy. Political correctness has affected the creativity of video games yet again.

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Other News:

Palestinian Resisted Arrest by Israeli Police with Fatal Consequences

US Citizens Warned to Be Careful of Terrorists

Kick the Illegals Out or Not?

Antique Sesame Street Naughtiness

Illegal Housekeeper Becomes Center of Debate Between Whitman and Brown

Meg Whitman, candidate for governor for the GOP, blamed the opposing Jerry Brown for using Ms. Diaz as an unwitting chess piece in his unethical attempt to become governor of California. She claimed that the publicity on Diaz will only speed up her deportation. However, Nicky Diaz appeared to be a willing sacrifice in Jerry Brown's campaign. After November second, she will be dumped like a piece of trash across the border by the immigration authorities after being milked of all political use. Neither Brown nor Nicky's lawyer, Gloria Allred, will bat an eye on her afterwords.

Brown countered Whitman's damning accusation by directed all of the blame back at her, saying that she blamed everyone but herself for Nicky's predicament and she had most of the responsibility for Nicky's current position. Brown's and Whitman's eyes were gazing at each other with such ferocity and hate that they seemed like life-long enemies. Brown later forced Whitman to explain why she didn't know about Nicky's illegal status despite the letter sent from the Social Security Administration implying to Whitman of Nicky's possible illegal status. Whitman resorted to her usual excuse of saying that she was unaware of the letter.

Despite this embarrassing flap, Whitman is determined not to let the cunning Brown snatch the seat of governorship away from her. She had already invested over a hundred million dollars in her political campaign, a large portion of which was spent on attracting Hispanic voters. Their heated exchanges quickly became so heated that the organizers had to stop it momentarily.

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Other News:

Four-Year-Old Boy Kills Baby with Van

College Dean of St. John's University Employed Slaves Through Embezzlement

Threats Forced Government Witness to Recant Testimony

Suicides of Guantanamo Detainees Aren't Important

California Becomes Pothead Heaven

In an unprecedented move, Arnod Schwarzenegger, the current governor of California, signed legislation titled SB 1449 that legalizes pot up to a specific amount. The law changes the possession of marijuana from a misdemeanor to an infraction. The fine stays a one hundred dollars, which is much less than for a traffic infraction, but the requirement of going to a court is eliminated. The current stance on marijuana includes arrest, fining, and going to court. Due to the financial woes of the state government, the governoring body decided to reduce judicial expenses by lowering the criminality of pot possession so less potheads go to court which translates to less expenses. Over sixty-thousand marijuana users were arrested for possession last year alone.

The governor's stance on pot is negative. He was forced by the current financial circumstances of the state government to sign the law into effect. It was just one of the many budget cuts they are currently implementing to combat the problem. Many marijuana smokers rejoiced at the signing of the legislation as it officially begins the downward spiral towards the legalization of more hardcore drugs. Notable supporters of pot smokers, especially California NORML's director Dale Gieringer, praised the governor for legalizing the drug for common use.

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Oakland Police Officer Kills Puppy and Keeps Body

Shortly before noon on Tuesday, the Oakland police responded to a security alarm that went off. An officer was sent to Hallock's home. Upon inspecting the premises, the officer saw dog of the Labrador breed. Acting on self-defense, he quickly pulled out his guy and riddled the dog with bullets. Satisfied that he had done his duty, he left a written note on the front porch of the house. In it he wrote how he dutifully responded to the distress call sent from security alarm of the the Hallock's home, but encountered a threatening dog. He was forced to shoot the dog to death in self-defense. If the Hallocks want the dog's lead-filled body, it's available at the local animal control facility.

Mary Kate Hallock was the first to arrive back home and find the note. It was very technical and cold, basically with officer absolving himself of any wrongdoing. The whole Hallock family was distressed after hearing about the the news that Gloria died. The dog was with the family for many years and it all just ended. This draws a parallel to a similar incident early this year in Oakland where a deer was hastily shot to death before the local animal control workers could catch the deer. The Hallocks hope that more humane and non-fatal methods will be used in the future for similar incidents. The moral of lesson is that you can't go against protocol regardless if there are alternatives.

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District Judge in Intercourse Pulls Sexual Prank

A district judge in Intercourse of Lancester County, Pennsylvania, hid behind some trees in front of the Capitol on September 21 at around lunch time to pull a prank on unsuspecting women. Female pedestrians who passed by him were given acorns stuff with condoms. The condom acorns were intricately made by hollowing out the acorns, suffing them with condoms, and finally sealing them with glue. Two women who was offended by the prank called the police who quickly came and apphrehend the fifty-eight-year-old magisterial district judge, Isaac H. Stolfzfus. He was given a citation. It was a surprise to many people that knew him because he had a good, clean reputation as a judge.

His defense for the lewd act was that it was meant to be a gag, but not that many people are buying it. He claimed that he got the idea for the "rubber nut" prank from the internet. Currently he's still a judge, but that could change in the days the ahead, depending on the decision of the Judicial Conduct Board. His colleagues and friends kept their mouths shut regarding his bad joke. While what he did was unacceptable as a judge, at least he didn't masturbate in the courtroom.

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Seventy-Five Savages Fight at Birthday Party for Three-Year-Old Girl

Seventy-five drunken maniacs broke out in an all-out melee battle with bottles during a birthday party for a 3-year-old kid in Fraternal Order of Eagle's Hall in Elmwood Place, Ohio. Thirty other children also attended the party. The battle started with an argument and spiraled out of control. Realizing that civil conversation is for pussies, they resorted to the time-tested method of using violence to resolve their differences. Chairs, bottles, and anything that could be used as a weapon was thrown. With alcohol in their blood, every one of them was in absolute bloodlust, as is typical for their kind of people. A lot of police were called in to stop the ongoing battle. The first cops to arrived there were too afraid to get into the fray so they had to call for backup.

The reason for the fight was ridiculous: The father of the girl and the mother's boyfriend began arguing about the mother and the girl. One or both of them crossed the line and began throwing insults. Everything went downhill from there Ramon Marcela-Hernandez, the apparent instigator of the brawl, was arrested and jailed along with three other people. Despite the injuries suffered by so many people, no one from the party was willing to come forward to talk to the police about the incident. The language barrier further discouraged them from doing so. Meanwhile, the Children's Services have decided to handle the case on their own. Jesse Ficke, who worked at Eagle's lodge, initially thought they were nice people, but he realized that he was wrong after seeing their savagery that night.

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CNN Correspondent Narrowly Escapes Pervert's Clutches

An agent working for the conservatives, Jame's O'Keefe, had planned to troll Abbie Boudreau by arranging a meeting with her in his office on a boat that was filled with sex toys, blow-up dolls, video screens playing porn videos, and other sexual paraphernalia with the intent to film the meeting and making the edited version of the video public. His other intention was to hit on Boudreau, whom he had sexually fantasized about for a long time. However, it was a lame seduction attempt. Fortunately for her, she narrowly escaped the sexually charged prank after being warned by a woman working with O'Keefe who suddenly had troll's remorse and was also jealous of Boudreau being O'Keefe's love interest.

O'Keefe had a history of pulling pranks on Liberal groups. Most famous was the incident where he asked for sexual and tax evasion advice from ACORN workers. The prank worked and ended in ACORN's downfall despite the group being exonerated by the courts. Not content with doing just this, he continued to troll more, but got into legal trouble when he went to Lousiana Senator Mary Landrieu's home pretending to be a utility worker. This failed trolling attempt didn't stop him; it merely emboldened him into doing even more.

This time he tried to set up a meeting with Abbie Boudreau with the pretense of trying to reconcile with CNN. She almost fell for it. Standing by the Patuxent River and about to enter the boat, Santa suddenly approached and warned her that she's walking into a pervert's lair. Boudreau's instincts told her to leave and she did, narrowly avoiding the sexual harassment. If it weren't for the warning, videos and photoshopped pictures of Abbie Boudreau in sexually suggestive actions would've spread all over the internet.

Britney Spears Ad Nauseum in Glee

Britney Spears, the outdated celebrity, recently participated in an episode of Glee, which is a popular show about the adventures of a high school show choir. There was a lot of viewer anticipation for the episode, which was all about Britney. She basically played herself in the show, dancing and singing to all of her own dated songs. It's strange that she's still popular after all of her fuck-ups with drugs, marriage, and weight loss. Somehow the media companies figured they could still milk some cash from that cow and give Ms. Spears a major role in that episode.

Playing the character Brittany S. Pierce, it wasn't much of a name change for her in that episode. The plot was pea-brained simple: Brittany joined the club and all she did was sing and dance to solos. Everyone else faded into the background and became irrelevant. It was fairly obvious that the episode didn't fit well at all with the rest of the series. The reasons Brittany joined the choir club was equally ridiculous: there was a sudden huge demand for Britney's music from the club and the club had to meet the demand. Britney was already standing out like a pink elephant in that episode, but having every one of the characters sucking up to her made it even worse, especially Rachel, who dressed up almost exactly like Britney did during her teens with a naughty school girl look. So, in conclusion, this episode sucked epic balls.

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Former Airforce Officers Saw Little Green Men

A group of former airforce officers claimed that they saw unintendified flying objects while they were stationed at a nuclear missile facility. For whatever reason, they broke their vow of silence after so many years. Many people balked at the sheer absurdity of their claims. It sounds to ridiculous to be true. Speaking with a group of reporters along with his peers, retired air force captain Robert Salas recalled the details of the incident that made him pissed in his pants on the 16th of March, 1967.

It was like any other normal day. Mr. Salas was working long hours underground at the Malmstrom Airforce Base managing a cache of weapons of mass destruction. He was about to doze off on his chair when suddenly from the intercom he had the guard above ground say that he saw funny lights in the sky that were to quick to be aircraft. Salas thought the guy was tripping on drugs or something so he ignored the raving fool. Soon the guard called again and was delirious this time. The light was now a glowing disc-shaped object about 10 meters wide hovering very close to them. All guards above ground were on tactical alert. Salas was still skeptical but told them to fire at will if it becomes a threat. All of his remaining doubts were gone when the alarms went off and the control systems for the missiles went haywire.

The object then flew away to where the missiles were actually stored and then did a funny dance. Salas told the guards to chase after it, but lost contact to them during their armed confrontation. Afterwords the object flew away, apparently satisfied of it's toying with them. Right after the incident, during a meeting with higher officials, Salas and his coworkers were told to keep everything that happened that night at the facility a secret. No further questioning on the mattered was allowed. Ten nuclear missiles were rendered inoperable on that day using mysterious technology that beyond the capability of humans. Is Robert Salas a fraud just trying to make some easy bucks or is his story for real? Most likely he's lying because aliens couldn't possibly have visited Earth. If they had, we would all be gone by now.

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Sarah Palin Was Booed in Dancing With the Stars

It was a surprise when Sarah Palin went to the Dancing With the Stars show. She gave her "expert" opinion on professional dancing and praised the popular show and its participants. However, despite being very polite and sociable, the crowd was unkind to her. A chorus of booing was raised, and the audience emphasized their hate for a certain someone, but the mighty Sarah Palin stood her ground while continuing with her smiley face act, seemingly able to perfectly ingore the vociferous expression of popular hate.

Later on, though, she lost her cool and began fidgeting when the camera turned onto her face. The loud booing from much of the audience continued on for a long time. Not going with the sway of the crowd, Bristol Palin, her daughter, express gratitude that her mother was there to support her. Without her daughter, Sarah Palin probably would've broken down.

In the end, it was discovered that the booing was due to the poor scores that the judges Jennifer and Derek gave for a performance. It was ridiculous low despite it being an immense crowd pleaser. Knowing that unfair scores would make the audience react negatively, the judges probably timed it so that it would appear that it was Sarah Palin herself who got booed. It's either very crafty trolling or they're just being highly objective in their scoring. Regardless, Sarah Palin's expression was priceless.

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Flasher Acquitted Because It Wasn't the Real Thing

A man twenty-two years of age was accused of flashing his genitals in front of a school bus filled with Deland High School students. The police and prosecutors were adamant that James Richmond did commit public indecency. However, in a lucky reversal of fortune, he was acquitted because the penis that was shown wasn't real. Many people, including the parents, were furious at the ruling. Mr. Richmond cried in happiness that his epic trolling attempt didn't put him in the slammer. Despite being ordered by the judge not to laugh at the joke, no doubt some jurors giggled.

He's as lucky as Michael Jackson to have avoided a thirty-year prison sentence for the crime he allegedly commited and narrowly escaped being labeled as a pedophile for the rest of his life. The high school boys for some reason imagined that the fake penis that they saw was a real penis. Something seems wrong here though, if the guy was flashing his fake penis for weeks in front of students and if his fake penis looked like a real penis, then there might have been times when he didn't actually wear the costume and showed his manhood in all its glory. Regardless of whether he flashed his real penis or not, it doesn't change the fact that he's an attention whore. Seeing that it worked well in a Halloween party, he took it to the streets, trolling kids from a speeding car. He almost got what he deserved.

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Irony: Owner of Segway Company Autodarwinates on a Segway Scooter

Jimi Heselden was a sixty-two-year-old wealthy millionaire owner of a vehicle company who almost had it all. One crucial thing he lacked was common sense regarding safety. While driving two-wheeled scooter made by his own company, he accidentally drove off a cliff and died after the the fall. The vehicle was supposedly safe because it had state-of-the-art position-sensing techology to allow it and the driver to remain upright. It's steered by the rider's shifting of their weight.

Why did Mr. Heselden died the way he did then? His overinflated ego probably clouded his awareness of his surroundings and that led him to driving his vehicle off a cliff and into a river. His horribly mangled body was found at the Boston Spa on Sunday by a person unlucky enough to have found him. His trusty two-wheeled scooter was found next to his body. No foul play was suspected because it was fairly obvious that the cause of death was his own sheer stupidity. It's unfortunate that Mr. Heselden's life was ended by his own hands. If he had been more vigilant and cautious, he would've survived. His stupid death earns him the Darwin Award.

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Not Surprisingly, Fake Scholars in China

Police in Beijing have arrested four men associated with the attack of Fang Zhouzi, a well-known journalist known for exposing frauds in various fields of study, especially in science and medicine. He was lucky enough to survive the bludgeon-type attack from a hammer. The professor who paid for the vicious attack was arrested along with the attackers. Since China is well known for counterfeiting anything from movies to food, it's not surprising that this incident happenened. It was just a matter of time before the self-proclaimed enforcer of science pissed off the wrong guy.

Amazingly he was unfazed by the attempt on his life, which occured right after an interview. With the help of security cameras and witnesses, the hired goons and the professor were quickly apprehended. The adage "truth hurts" is never more true in this cse. Both the perpetrators of the fraud and the exposer of the fraud suffered.

Zhouzi's previous work included exposing fraudulent cancer medicine, fake chinese herbal concotions and false claims associated with them, and the big one were he exposed Tang Jun as a false scholar. Jun was about to get a top position in Microsoft but was rejected when Zhouzi exposed him as a fraud. I wonder what kind of fraud will China come up with next?

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Piss in My Bucket? It's More Likely than You Think.

Many buckets of piss and excrement were found in large quantities in the backyard of a house on 223 Eve Street of Harrisburg where people once lived. The tenants were evicted without compensation after the house was condemned due to hazardous conditions. Some say that this might be the tip of the iceberg of sanitation problems in buildings in the area. Nothing new here folks. If the neighborhood is shitty, the houses where people live in will most likely be shitty.

The housing inspector asserted that people can't live in unsanitary buildings that are hazardous to health regardless of whether or not the tenants are willing. Shouldn't be a problem living there if one can withstand a leaky roof, broken floorboards, and an unworking plumbing system. At least you get a roof over your head. The local codes are just finicky. Both the tenants and the landlord were blaming each other for the problems. However, both of them have their own responsibilities. The tenants were apparently unkempt and dirty people while the landlord was shamelessly corrupt according to the neighbors.

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A Challenger Appears: Suicide Note Vs Death Note

On Saturday, a man shot himself before the Memorial Church in front of a tour group, shocking everyone in sight. He was Mitchel L. Heisman, a thirty-five year-old scholar who lived in Somerville. His alma mater expressed their standardized condolences toward his death. Evelynn M. Hammonds, the dean of the university where he attended, quickly disclaimed responsibility for his death and for all similar incidents that might happen or had happened to their graduates and students.

He was a native of New York. At young age he demonstrated his academic ability with his intense interest in math and science. He managed to graduate with a BS in Psychology from Albany University. In unfortunate irony, he knew about the workings of the human mind but unfortunately couldn't fix his own. Apparently he didn't have a job and had to rely on his large inheritance from his father to support himself. His mother didn't know about the actual content of the book until after his suicide. She was just estatic that his son was working on a project that he himself was proud of because he had nothing else to be proud about, not knowing that it was an epic-length suicide note. The content of the suicide note was all about death, drawing heavy references to nihilism, religion, and history, which are some of typical topics that madmen ramble about. Despite the subject matter he did a lot of research and interviews with professors in order provide material for his nearly two thousand page exposition. His mother wanted his son's work to be published in order to satisfy her son's wish of getting attention that he wasn't able to get while he was still alive. At the very least he deserves praise for being an hero.

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Katy Perry: Sesame to Simpsons

The people behind Sesame Street may be cold to Katy Perry's innocuous performance at Sesame Street, but another show welcomes her with open arms. Just as in her prior act, she will get to sing with a puppet, but not with just any group of puppets. It would be with the puppet versions of the characters from Simpsons. From the gist of it, it seems like her role in the new show is like a satirical parody of the Sesame Street blunder where she sang Hot & Cold with the well-known red muppet. Al Jean, the current producer of the Simpsons, says all of the people in Simpsons support Katy Perry, unlike the back-stabbing muppets where she was once friends with.

In the new simpsons episode, which has yet to be released, Katy Perry will sing "The Thirty-Nine Days of Christmas" and, in an apparent mockery of Sesame Street's Elmo, Katy Perry will the girlfriend of Moe (Elmo and Moe, get it?) Though Katy Perry's act in the Simpsons show was done earlier than her Sesame Street gig, it seems to be too much of a coincidence that the new Simpson's show involves puppets and singing. Maybe Katy Perry knew in advance that Sesame Street segment featuring her would get rejected as being too racy.

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Lindsay Lohan Bails Out with $300K

In a dramatic reversal of an earlier ruling, Judge Schnegg of the Los Angeles Superior Court allowed Lindsay Lohan to post a thirty hundred thousand dollar bail so that she could avoid jail. If it weren't for the reversal, she would have to spend twenty-eight days in the slammer. This was all thanks to her lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley. She's lucky that she doesn't have to stay in jail for the month. The catch is that she will be constantly monitored for alcohol use and the police will be checking on her regularly. She also can't visit certain places, such as bars and other places where booze is sold. Drugs is also off limits to her. All this began from the mistake that she made in 2007 of driving under the influence. Everything went downhill from there with repeat violations and failed rehab. Apparently now she's still not sober enough to get her act together.

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Mark Zuckerberg Puts Other Billionaires to Shame

The Forbes of the richest four hundred Americans has been updated again and it's already released. Most notable of all the wealthy people on the list is Mark Zuckerberg, who is one of the founders of Facebook. Two notable things seperate him from other billionaires: Most financially significant is his dramatic increase in wealth last year. His net worth increased by two hundred and forty-five percent. That's a very a large increase in such a short period of time. This is of course due largely to the rising popularity of Facebook which practically omnipresent today. The other founders of Facebook also gained a lot of money but not as much as him. The second thing that makes him stand out is his willingness to give a lot of money to charity. He donated over a hundred million dollars to public schools in Newark, New Jersey. This amount puts other Forbes list billionaires to shame.

As for the list, Bill Gates is still number one. Other notable billionaires like the Waltons of Walmart more or less remain in the same positions as before. The lesser known ones got shuffled around. Michael Bloomberg still retains the title as one of the richest politicians. Fortunately for them, the recession in 2009 barely put a dent on their fortunes, but the same thing can't be said for the rest of us.

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Filthy Conditions at the Commonwealth Games

The whole area of the Commonwealth Games may look great at first, but upon further inspection one can unveil the horrors that lie within. Many of the common folk were hired to build the infrastructure for the games. Unfortunately the organization responsible for the work, the Delhi Development Authority, didn't care at all about the workers' living and working conditions. Unsightly chunks of feces can be found all over the Games village. The workers there lived in conditions not fit for human living. Almost everything and everywhere was unsanitary and unsafe to boot. Practically everything was bad: Bad hygiene, unclean environment, deficiency of modern sanitation. There weren't enough toilets and nobody cleans the toilets. Living quarters are also very cramped. Some may view this as typical because this is how most of the poor lived.

To keep the view of the games palatable to the foreign public, Indian officials are trying desperately to keep these issues out of the spotlight by declaring them as minor issues. The reponse of the officials and the deplorable conditions of the workers suggest that corruption might be involved. Regardless, there's a double standard, even amongst the poor workers. They worry more about the foreign athelete's safety than their own well being.


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Kate Perry: Sex and the Sesame Street

Kate Perry's segment in a recently made episode of Sesame Street won't be aired due to her sexual suggestiveness. Her gold colored top was apparently too revealing and therefore inappropriate for children. It wasn't a problem until the people responsible for the show received a lot of complaints after they released it on Youtube. In the episode, Kate Perry sang Hot and Cold and played tag with Elmo. It's most likely just a handful of complaints from a minority of overreacting people. Any reasonable person can see how utterly ridiculous this is. Compared to that segment, what you see in the city, beaches, and swimming pools is even worse. This is America, not some conservative Muslim country. No word from Kate Perry yet.

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Stuxnet: Cyber Super Weapon

The terrifying new malware that heralds the dawning of the age of cyberweapons was found in June. It had already infected 45,000 computer systems around the world but mainly in Iran, India, Pakistan, and Indonesia. Iran's computer systems took the bulk of the infections. Computer security experts have painstakingly dissected and analyzed the exotic and highly dangerous piece of malware. Apparently it was designed to attack a specific computer system at a specific time, much like the viruses and trojans in the old days. It's target appears to be some unknown industrial complex such as a factory or power plant. In a way Stuxnet is like a cyber saboteur. It can exploit the vulnerability of the industrial software and destroy the physical location itself.

It's the first of its kind, a completely different breed of malware that most people encounter on a daily basis. One of the special features is its ability to attack only a specific target and leave non-targets alone. Its method of attack is through a usb drive, possibly that was designed especially for this purpose. It immediately infects the computer system when the usb drive is inserted to the usb port without the user doing anything. Because most of the infections happened in Iran, experts suspect that the politically-hot Bushehr nuclear plant is the target. It might have already been infected, but they're not certain. Creating malware of such sophistication would require vast amounts of resources and access to uncommon knowledge regarding the weaknesses of industrial software. This suggest the government of some unknown country was responsible. Suspects include the US, Israel, and Russian contractors who built the power plant. US and Israel already admits that they have such terrifying weapons. Experts believe that it might already be too late for Stuxnet's target.

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Growing Weed Amongst the Rhinos at the Zoo

The 59 year-old worker who was responsible for the rhinos for a number of years wouldn't have been busted if it weren't for tip to the police by one of his disgruntled customers. Sabine Grebner, who managed the Salzburg Zoo in Austria, was absolutely appalled and was quick to condemn the heinous crime, saying that the worker's actions don't represent the zoo and it was an isolated incident. Apparently he had been growing weed inside the rhino corral for several years without anyone noticing. The cannabis farm was well hidden from visitors of the zoo and his coworkers. No one had suspected a thing. His special access to the rhino corral contributed to the success of his crime. When he was busted, the police found thirty three weed plants. Imagine what would happen if the rhinos had ate them. Stoned rhinos would've put on quite a show for the public. Criminals never stop in thinking up more creative ways to commit crime.

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Titanic Tragedy Happened Because of Stupidity

The tragedy that happened on April 10, 1912 was all due to two entirely preventable mistakes that could've averted or at least minimize the impact of the tragedy. Louise Patten, daughter of Charles Lightoller who worked on the Titanic at the time, finally revealed the secret that she held for a long time in order to keep his grandfather's reputation.

When the iceburg was first sighted, a stupid steering mistake aimed the ship right at the iceburg. Hitchens was at the wheel and was responsible for the mistake. He confused the difference between the steering directions of sail ships and steam ships. Instead of steering to the left, he steered to right. Another officer tried to steer the ship back in the correct direction, but it was too late.

Lightoller was at meeting where they decided to coverup to mistake in order to keep the business' reputation intact and keep their jobs. But that alone wasn't enough to cause so many deaths. J. Bruce Ismay told them to continue sailing, sealing the fate of many aboard the ship. They would've had hours remaining, enough time for the rescue ship to come, if they had remain where they were.

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Trolling at Women's Races

Trolling offline takes a lot of guts. Jonathan Mederos, a philosophy teacher in his twenties, got first place at the Disney Princess Marathon last year with a time of one hour, sixteen minutes, and seven seconds. Everyone was dead silent when he passed the finish line. Rick Codes also got first place the Nike Women's Half Marathon where he was one of the 700 men who participated alongside 12,700 women. Despite being constantly insulted by the crowd, he managed to win.

Women-themed races became more increasingly common in recent years, encouraged by the rise in the number of professional female atheletes. Men, either for one reason or another, are allowed in such races to prevent the possibility of lawsuits. Some may view this as spitting feminism in its face. Despite being able to participate, most of the men will have to endure the derisive comments from the crowd.

To discourage such trolling, some planners made the races more female-oriented by giving only prizes suitable for women such as tight-fitting pink t-shirts. The prizes are also awarded by semi-naked men. To guarantee that men never win, some would go as far as giving women an advantage of several minutes by placing them ahead of men at the start of the races. Despite all these precautions, some men are unfazed. They went ahead with winning the race, and then going as far as trying to wear the female clothing that were awarded.

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Too Stupid to Do a Head Shot

On Wednesday morning, a good samaritan notified the local sheriff's at Alahua County office through a call that a dying deer was found on the road. Apparently it had been injured severely in a car accident. Under official policy, the police at that area were allowed to do humane killings on animals that are critically injured and suffering. A sheriff's deputy was dispatched to the scene and, in an great act of stupidity, shot the deer 17 times in the stomach, contrary to the seargent's instructions on the phone to shoot at the animal's heart. How the deputy could be this stupid is beyond me. Regardless of whether or not the deputy received the appropriate training for such a killing, he should've known that a head shot would kill the deer instantly instead going trigger happy with 17 shots in the stomach. In spite of this folly, the deputy received no action against him, but training in killing humane animals properly is now required for all officers.

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Baptists to flood Texas with Bible CDs by Easter (AP)

 
AP - The largest state Baptist group in the nation wants Christ's message of hope heard in every home in Texas — about 9 million of them — by Easter.

Moderate elected as Serbian patriarch (AP)

 
AP - Irinej Gavrilovic, a moderate who recently called for better ties with the Roman Catholics, was chosen Friday as the new head of the influential Serbian Orthodox Church.

Hawaii legislators seek to lengthen school year (AP)

AP - Stuck with the nation's shortest school year, Hawaii lawmakers will consider proposals for longer and more school days when this year's legislative session opens Wednesday.

Student stabbed at California high school (AP)

AP - A student has been stabbed inside a Catholic high school near Los Angeles, and the campus is on lockdown.

US evangelist

 
AFP - The White House on Thursday dismissed a comment by evangelical preacher Pat Robertson that Haiti's earthquake was retribution for the country swearing a "pact to the devil" as "utterly stupid."