Saturday, October 9, 2010

Korean Man in Wheelchair Autodarwinates

In an utterly stupid way, an obnoxious man in a wheelchair plunges to his death hundreds of feet down an elevator shaft for a ridiculous reason: he lacked patience. The horrific accident happened in a busy shopping center in Daejon, South Korea when the wheelchair man was rushing to the elevator whose doors were closing fast after a woman pressed the close button on the elevator. Anger rose rapidly the forty-year-old man known as Mr. Lee when he kept pressing the button near the elevator door to no effect. By that time the elevator had already risen. Not even bothering to think about the possible consequences, Mr. Lee proceeded to ram the closed elevator doors with his motorized wheelchair, causing dents to form on the doors. Unfortunately, during his last attempt the doors of the elevator opened the moment his chair was moving rapidly towards them. Unable to stop his wheelchair, he plunged to his death far down below. Security cameras recorded all of the man's foolishness. The management of the shopping center later made plans to improve the strength of the doors on the elevators so similar accidents won't happen again.

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FBI Invades Puerto Rico by the Hundreds

In a surprise bust that shocked the establishment in Peurto Rico, several hundreds FBI agents, in the operation they dubbed "Guard Shack", executed one of the largest concentrated national FBI efforts in U.S. history. The bulk of the FBI forces descended via planes in a manner that one would think could only happen in action movies among the unsuspecting criminals across Puerto Rico. Over 130 corrupt police officers and civil servants were arrested on various charges dealing with corruption and whatnot.

All suspects except for four of them were successfully apprehended. It was the culmination of many months of undercover operations involving illicit drug deals. Surprisingly, no one was wounded in the bust. Some of the suspects were actually warned the night before the massive raid, but apparently it was already too late for most of them. The huge number of suspects and arrests highlights the major corruption problems in Puerto Rico.

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Friday, October 8, 2010

Drains Clogged Up by Condoms in the Commonwealth Games


The common practice to give free condoms to Olympic athletes since 1992 has never been a problem until now in Delhi, New India. Officials reported that four thousand condoms were distribte from the in-house vending machines since the start of the Commonwealth games. However, this unexpectedly have given rise to a exceptional plumbing problem that led to odorous, clogged drains. This was the most recent woe following the previous problem with a massive diarrhoea outbreak among many atheletes residing in the athletic village that houses seven-thousand people, which was due to unsanitary conditions.

Because the drains were blocked by thousands of condoms, the atheletes had no choice but to go elsewhere to execute their routine bodily functions. Game organizers are working on a solution to clear the drains, which are technologically dated and ill-maintained. Seeking to shine a positive light on the problem, top official of the games, Mike Fennell, said that the excessive amount of condoms clogging the drains is a good sign that people are taking preventive measures against sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies. Due to this and many other problems, such as various technical difficulties, inadequate transport, food shortage, and bad overall organization of the games in India, spectators began dwindling in number despite reassurances from organizers claiming that there'll be full seating.

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Thursday, October 7, 2010

Canadian Spammer Forced to Pay $1 Billion to Facebook


A recent case demonstrated how the power of the U.S. anti-spam laws can cross international boundaries. The most notorious spammer of Facebook, Adam Guerbuez, who euphemistically calls himself an internet marketing professional, was arrested and tried for spamming the hell out of Facebook, a famous social networking website. For months he had inundated Facebook with countless penis enlargement ads to the disgust of many of its users. After receiving many user complaints, Facebook was forced to take legal action against Guerbuez. That the Canadian court sided with Facebook proves that no foreign citizen is safe from the U.S. anti-spam rules.

The record-setting case became a warning against anyone would dare follow the same path as Guerbuez. However, unlike the other spammers who went on trial before, Guerbuez didn't make much money from his endeavors. By declaring bankruptcy, Facebook was unable to get even one cent from him. In addition to the payment for the huge damages, he was also perma-banned from face for the rest of his life. However, Guerbuez was unfazed by the ruling for the trial had given him favorable publicity. He's recognized among the inner circles as one of the greatest Canadian spammers and earned a lucrative book deal. Was the court's ruling really punishment enough for him?

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Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Sailor's Body Found Inside Shark


A was a typical fishing trip during free time for Humphrey Simmons, who works for Xanthos Investment Company as a banker. Together with his two pals, Keith Ferguson and Stanley Bernard, they went over thirty-five miles south of Nassau to catch fish. Unexpectedly they encountered a shark that was goppling up the fishes that they were trying to catch. Even when they tried to get the boat far away from the shark, the shark kept on following them, most likely because of the blood trail that the boat was leaving behind.

Finally, Simmons and his friends decided to take a drastic course of action. They decided to catch the gluttonous shark that was spoiling their fishing trip. Using a fishing rod with a high tension line, they managed to catch the shark, but they noticed that it was extremely heavy. The shark also a had an extremely foul stench in its mouth as if it swallowed a load of shit. Once it got partially onboard, the shark coughed up a human leg, shocking everyone on board, including the 10-year daughter of Simmons, who ran back to the cabin screaming hysterically. Unable to restrain the shark, they were forced to use a shotgun to kill it. Afterwords they traveled back to shore on Nassau and contacted the authorities. The shark was split opened at its belly and out popped a headless, mangled human body that's partially digested. The police suspect that it's one of the three sailors who were missing at sea recently. What a horrible way for a sailor to die.

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Tuesday, October 5, 2010

John Maden Acted Out Snuff Fantasy on 12-Year-Old Niece


In a sick act that shocked the whole of Britain, John Maden, a thirty-eight year old jobless man living in Manchester, England, raped and murdered his twelve-year-old niece Tia Rigg in his own home. His niece never suspected a thing because she had baby sit for his uncle on many occasions. This time, however, she met her end at the hands of her sick uncle. She was first drugged with medication that Maden usually took to treat his mental problems, and the tortured, raped, and finally killed through stabbing and strangling with a guitar string. After the deed, he called 999 and calmly told the operator that he raped and killed his niece because "he felt like it".

Monday, October 4, 2010

Tunneling Across the Southern Border for Drugs


The recent explosion in drug-related crime and illegal immigration led to the use of unmanned aircraft (UAVs) in patrolling our southern border with Mexico. This complements the border patrol agents working on foot or with vehicles, bikes, and speed boats to stem the tide of illegal immigrants and unscrupulous drug smugglers. With the increased enforcement of the southern border on land and sea, along with the encouragement of citizens to report immigrants who came her illegally, drug smugglers have increasingly resorted to the use of underground tunnels, which are now being built and discovered at an alarming frequency.

Recently, border patrol agents have discovered a tunnel under Nogales, one of many immigration checkpoints in southern Unite States. This was one of the several discovered in the city recently, which made use of the preexisting storm drain tunnels. The drain tunnels wouldn't have been built in the first place if it weren't for the fact the Mexican side of the border has a higher elevation compared to the U.S. side of the border. The high elevations enable excess run-off to flow into the river more easily.

About one underground drug tunnel is discovered per month. The drug tunnels range in quality from tight worm holes to sophisticated ones with lighting and ventilation. They were either discovered by accident, through careful observation, or through reports of alert citizens. The discovery of the tunnel usually ends with a major drug bust on the U.S. side of the border. Drugs that manage to get through will end up in the hands of the local drug dealers and possibly medical marijuana dispensaries. Why is the war against drugs so hard to win? Maybe we need immigration reform that's more strict on illegal immigrants.

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